Frustration can snowball....

Yeah, frustration can get out of hand. I have found my frustration with my health mounting, and with it a loss of control over all those "things" I determine I "should" be doing. This little cutie is at the groomer because I let him get out of control. He is a demanding young man....he needs daily brushing, weekly trims, biweekly baths to keep looking like the canine stud that he is. Unfortunately, I have not been well enough to do all of that...one thing leads to another, and suddenly he is a mess. Now he is probably undergoing the trauma of his young life by getting a buzz cut. My bad.

This is a pretty good analogy for my general life right now. My head is full of ideas, projects, jewelry, paintings, gardens, gourmet meals to name just a few, and body is saying, "Good God woman, you have GOT to be kidding me." Right now, no matter what I do get around to, it is a generator of guilt. If I sit down in the "studio" and work on a piece, the left side of my brain is giving me grief that I am not scrubbing the kitchen floor. If I actually conjure up enough energy to scrub the kitchen floor, my right brain is crying, whining, stamping her foot to get creating. Like most negative things, the battle begins to take over, and less and less and less gets accomplished.

I am trying to be gentle with myself, and recognize the vailidity of not being well. I am trying to take things in little bites....all you type A's out there are belly laughing at the mere thought of that! And probably most of all, I am trying to allow pleasure and a little reveling in getting each little bite down. Maybe this is all about my need to (re)learn to enjoy the ride. This was top priority for me for years after my divorce, but the last few years it seems to have slipped into oblivion. Today is a good day, and for that I am thankful!

Off to bring that cute little bichon home!